Blessed

I haven't written for so long. I do miss it a little. I'm still a bit lazy. Ha.

    Well, so much has changed. I'm not doing makeup as I was hoping to a while ago. I'm working with children now. Surprisingly I really love it. Getting used to working with kids was a bit challenging, but I feel so incredibly blessed. I keep every drawing they give me, and every hug I receive daily fills my heart up with happiness. It gets tough sometimes but it is worth every minute. Lots of my co-workers are looking forward to the summer without kids. I am too, but I know I'm really going to miss these little boogers. 

    I've been trying to stay positive and really focus on the good things in life. I haven't been truly happy in so long, and now I'm taking control of my life. I felt like I was on Auto-pilot. I let things slide here and there, and I haven't spoken up. I hid my feelings, and it no one's fault but my own. Now I have to work on rebuilding myself. It starts with my inner self and outer self. Happiness starts with feeling good about yourself. I started this new workout program today thats supposed to target cellulite (its my biggest problem, especially on my thighs). I'll let you know how that goes. So far its not too hard and its got me sweating, so thats a good sign. 

   Romance. I'm just trying to figure out that part of my life little by little. There are times where I don't feel mature enough for a relationship, and that makes me feel uncomfortable. I just need to feel ready for marriage before I get back into a relationship. I need to allow myself to grow, and at the same time I want to find the man who is going to capture my heart without a word. I used to dislike affection so much, guess I was just bitter. Now I'm different. I love showing how much I care for someone. I just wish I could find someone who would be willing to beat me to it. Someone who is the same. I want a man that can truly love me. *sigh* but... I WILL BE POSITIVE. 

Fetching for a Future is Harder Than it Looks

    Lately I've been really lazy, and let me tell you it is NOT fun. I've been sucked into the powerful vortex otherwise known as "reality shows". I find myself watching for hours and hours on end. Seeing all these people not sitting on their couch watching television, but actually leaving their house and working, running errands, or taking up a class ... just doing SOMETHING! It makes me a little depressed, because I think to myself "am I really just watching these people live their lives instead of living my own life!?"

    
    If you're lost let me take you to the beginning. So back in April I was still in college studying Nursing. I thought that was what I wanted to do, but after careful thinking I decided that it wasn't for me. I was about to have a nervous breakdown because I didn't know what I was going to do with my life. But then it hit me! MAKE-UP ARTIST! DUH! 

  
    So the plan was: leave college, go to school for cosmetology, start getting gigs here and there, build up my client list, and BAM! instant PRO makeup artist. I did some research and school was extremely expensive. THAT'S  IT  DREAM  OVER! I was so depressed that I started bumming around my house. I was constantly reminded that I could get a job. So there I was sunken on my couch. I know I could be doing better things, but by staying up all night, I pretty much slept all day. Sometimes until 4pm. So when I got up, theres was nothing left to do, and that cycle destroyed my biological clock.

    
    But after a month or so there was a ray of light. I was able to get enough money for classes. It's a three week course and I couldn't be more excited! Only thing is it starts in November. It's a long wait from now but I'm just glad it's finally happening. I'm starting to get back into that potato couch mode, but this time I'm trying everything in my power to make sure I break that old sleep cycle. That way I can do something to make my free time worthwhile. Plus I'm trying so hard to stay away from the T.V. and it's "reality shows". They won't get me this time! HAHA!

I've Tried Breathing and Nothing Seems to Work!

    Guys . . . uuugghh! I've never been good with guys. It hasn't been until recently that guys started to show interest in me. I feel like I just stumbled upon being (somewhat) pretty and now I don't know what to do with it. Theres a million things that go through my mind when I'm beginning to show interest in someone. I don't want to fall for the wrong guy, is he the right guy? Will my family like him? Will we last? Then I start to like him and yet there are things that I don't like about him. The negative tends to overpower the positive, and then my overthinking just confuses me! It overwhelms me sometimes. RAWR. Sometimes its too much, and I just want to crawl right back into my little ugly shell and wait for the guy to leave. . . I just can't help it. I'm an over-thinker. Why must I overthink? I just want someone to walk right up and say "Hi. We're meant for each other." LOL wouldn't that be nice. . . and a little creepy. I know I just have to wait. Jehovah will know when it's the right time for me. Until then I'll just go about my life and maybe soon he'll make an appearance :)

Here Comes the Bride

    I absolutely LOVE weddings. I'm such a sucker when it comes to talking about plans, colors, and venues. I just can't help myself. Funny thing is I don't even know what I would want my own wedding to have. I was able to see one of my friends get married the other day. We're not the closest of friends, but I was really happy to be there and to see how happy he was. Then a few days later my neighbors got married. They are just the cutest thing! I'm really happy that everyone else is happy! My heart is really OVERJOYED for all of those lovebirds!

*    *    OAWESOME TRANSITION INTO SECOND HALF OF THE POST    *     *

    I feel like everyone is all about the bride and groom from the day a wedding is mentioned to the moment the wedding is over. Then no one seems to talk as much about it, and it makes sense. I just wish it wasn't like that. When I was younger I never really thought of what life would be like after the wedding. But that's what the wedding is for. To have a life with that person, not JUST a wedding. I think I've always thought of "I want my wedding to have this, and I want my wedding to have that!" but I should be focusing more on "I want my marriage to be like this, and I want my marriage to be like that".  I know this post is totally random but I wanted to say something about weddings.... sooo i did. LOL okay I think I'm done :) 

Put That Spoon DOWN Sista!

    When you're feeling down, yes, a bowl of ice cream can make you feel better. But why sacrifice all those extra calories? And not to mention all the sugar in it will make you crash later. I have the best pick-me-up ever! It's fat free, zero calories, and there's no crash later! IT'S MY FRIENDS!  They always know how to make me feel better. If you're ever feeling down why not put that ice cream back in the freezer and go out with some of your friends? Trust me you'll feel MUCH better. Take a look at one of our OAWESOME adventures below. 

I was on T.V. like 2 yrs ago!

Check me out @ 1:09 WOO HOO!

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