Fetching for a Future is Harder Than it Looks

    Lately I've been really lazy, and let me tell you it is NOT fun. I've been sucked into the powerful vortex otherwise known as "reality shows". I find myself watching for hours and hours on end. Seeing all these people not sitting on their couch watching television, but actually leaving their house and working, running errands, or taking up a class ... just doing SOMETHING! It makes me a little depressed, because I think to myself "am I really just watching these people live their lives instead of living my own life!?"

    
    If you're lost let me take you to the beginning. So back in April I was still in college studying Nursing. I thought that was what I wanted to do, but after careful thinking I decided that it wasn't for me. I was about to have a nervous breakdown because I didn't know what I was going to do with my life. But then it hit me! MAKE-UP ARTIST! DUH! 

  
    So the plan was: leave college, go to school for cosmetology, start getting gigs here and there, build up my client list, and BAM! instant PRO makeup artist. I did some research and school was extremely expensive. THAT'S  IT  DREAM  OVER! I was so depressed that I started bumming around my house. I was constantly reminded that I could get a job. So there I was sunken on my couch. I know I could be doing better things, but by staying up all night, I pretty much slept all day. Sometimes until 4pm. So when I got up, theres was nothing left to do, and that cycle destroyed my biological clock.

    
    But after a month or so there was a ray of light. I was able to get enough money for classes. It's a three week course and I couldn't be more excited! Only thing is it starts in November. It's a long wait from now but I'm just glad it's finally happening. I'm starting to get back into that potato couch mode, but this time I'm trying everything in my power to make sure I break that old sleep cycle. That way I can do something to make my free time worthwhile. Plus I'm trying so hard to stay away from the T.V. and it's "reality shows". They won't get me this time! HAHA!

I've Tried Breathing and Nothing Seems to Work!

    Guys . . . uuugghh! I've never been good with guys. It hasn't been until recently that guys started to show interest in me. I feel like I just stumbled upon being (somewhat) pretty and now I don't know what to do with it. Theres a million things that go through my mind when I'm beginning to show interest in someone. I don't want to fall for the wrong guy, is he the right guy? Will my family like him? Will we last? Then I start to like him and yet there are things that I don't like about him. The negative tends to overpower the positive, and then my overthinking just confuses me! It overwhelms me sometimes. RAWR. Sometimes its too much, and I just want to crawl right back into my little ugly shell and wait for the guy to leave. . . I just can't help it. I'm an over-thinker. Why must I overthink? I just want someone to walk right up and say "Hi. We're meant for each other." LOL wouldn't that be nice. . . and a little creepy. I know I just have to wait. Jehovah will know when it's the right time for me. Until then I'll just go about my life and maybe soon he'll make an appearance :)